What to Do On Mother’s Day and Father’s Day When You Don’t Have a Good Relationship With Your Parents: Part 2

In the last blog, I introduce some of my clients' emotions around Mother's and Father's Day. Acknowledging these feelings is essential for mental health. Not avoiding these feelings also starts the healing process from a painful childhood. The following are four extra things that may be helpful on these days. 

Consider Your Boundaries with Your Parents

Emotionally healthy parents acknowledge their children's feelings and needs. They also do not have unrealistic expectations. As a child, you may not have had a choice on what you can say or do. But as an adult, you can practice the kind of contact or communication you are comfortable with. Set boundaries that respect your emotional well-being. These personal limits may mean avoiding triggering conversations or gatherings. Communicate your boundaries without apologizing.

Practice Self-Care 

Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation on these days. Connect with supportive friends or family members besides your parents. Talk with others who have a similar upbringing to yours. Do things for yourself that bring you joy. If you feel it's difficult to set healthy boundaries with your family, consider seeing a therapist. A therapist can help you manage your guilt as you focus your self-care on healing from your past.

Appreciate Other Parental Figures in Your Life

Acknowledge and celebrate the positive role models and parental figures in your life. These people could be teachers, mentors, or other caregivers. These are the people that pay attention to you and see you for who you are. They give you a sense of connection and belonging. We all need this to form a healthy identity, especially growing up. Mother's and Father's Day can be a time of recognition to all who provided you with support and guidance. This can also be a time to express appreciation and pride in yourself. You got through your childhood the best way you could. Now, as an adult, you accept the responsibility for your healing and not passing on the pain to others. 

Shift Your Perspective

It's essential to recognize that not everyone has a great relationship with their parents and that having a different experience is common. You didn't do anything to cause your treatment growing up. And you didn't do anything to cause the current pain or distance in your relationship with your parents. But unfortunately, these are the consequences of an emotionally neglectful upbringing. Accepting this reality can help you make a healthy emotional shift. Instead of trying to make your parents change, you can shift your focus on healing from your past and create emotional freedom for yourself. This change in perspective will also help you make room for other positive aspects of your life, such as new goals and fulfilling relationships. 

Begin Online Therapy in Illinois

Mother's and Father's Day can be a challenging time for many. I encourage you to prioritize self-care and self-compassion on these days. Therapy can be a helpful resource during these times. If you experienced childhood emotional neglect, healing and growth are still possible. Seeking professional support from a therapist can be a valuable step in this process. To start working with a therapist in Illinois just follow these simple steps.

1. Take the step by calling or texting 217-402-7817
2. Schedule your first appointment at our Illinois-based practice
3. Start acknowledging your emotions in a more healthy way!

Other Therapy Services Offered in Illinois

I know that you may experience issues related to more than one mental health concern. This is why I offer several additional services to provide you with guidance and support. Other services include counseling for women and grief and loss counseling. I also offer counseling for people-pleasing and therapy for childhood emotional neglect. Whether you are in Peoria, Springfield, Mahomet, or somewhere in between in Illinois I can help with teletherapy. I look forward to hearing how I can help you. Please visit my blog to learn more!