An Illinois Therapist Shares 3 Ways Therapy Helps You Stop People-Pleasing
Most of my clients know the right things to do to support their mental health but struggle to do them. For example, my clients know that boundaries and self-respect are essential to stop people-pleasing, yet they still have difficulty saying no to others. As a result, they feel shame.
However, this divide between knowing what to do and doing it is a common issue. Clients are not lazy or lack willpower. In fact, they are usually exhausting themselves in their attempts to stop certain behaviors.
Therapy helps clients stop people-pleasing behavior by supporting them in working through the feelings that keep them stuck. By working through these feelings, clients find ending people-pleasing behavior feels easier and positive change lasts.
Understanding People-Pleasing Behavior
Therapy can help you determine the root causes of people-pleasing behavior and the conditions under which this behavior continues.
It's important to know that the instinct to please others is not always a negative behavior. It can come from a place of compassion and empathy. But my clients struggle with excessive people-pleasing, where they start neglecting their needs. They find it difficult to give themselves the same understanding and support they have for others.
For most of my clients, people-pleasing behavior results from childhood emotional neglect. Growing up with childhood emotional neglect means your family's feelings and opinions took over your well-being. Over time, this affects your self-worth and stunts your emotional development. As a result, you focus on external validation as you yearn for approval from others to confirm your worth. This desire can quickly turn into a people-pleasing habit.
Understanding that people-pleasing behavior has a root cause is powerful for clients. It allows them to depersonalize the behavior. Instead, they can see it as part of a pattern of their upbringing. When clients see people-pleasing as a consequence of emotional neglect, they are more likely to accept reality and change their behavior.
Making Self-Care a Priority
After uncovering the patterns and the root causes of people-pleasing behavior, you will have more energy to work on self-care with intention. Self-care is a vital step in breaking the people-pleasing cycle. And even more important, self-care becomes a form of self-respect.
In therapy, we'll identify what self-care means to you. This isn't a one-size-fits-all concept. We'll create a personalized self-care menu that caters to your physical, emotional, mental, and social needs.
A significant aspect of self-care involves learning to set boundaries mindfully. And not just with others but also with yourself. Boundaries protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. In treatment, we will work on respecting and communicating limits effectively to others.
Throughout these activities, therapy supports you in overcoming the guilt and shame of saying no to others and yes to yourself. These unjustified but painful feelings will no longer be a stumbling block to your knowledge in stopping people-pleasing behavior.
Recognizing Your Worth
In treatment for ending people-pleasing, we'll focus on creating a foundation of self-worth. You are valuable and deserving of care, whether or not you fulfill every request that comes your way.
Therapy will help you form an identity based on your values. You will develop interests outside of only meeting the needs of others. Treatment will support you in creating your own agenda. You will be able to trust your decisions without fearing letting someone down.
Conclusion
In wrapping up, I want to emphasize that prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it's an act of empowerment. Breaking free from people-pleasing takes knowledge and overcoming painful feelings. Remember, you deserve the same care, love, and joy that you give to others.
Begin Working With A Therapist in Mahomet, IL
Schedule a therapy appointment today if you're ready to end people-pleasing behavior. As a therapist, would be happy to offer support from my Mahomet, IL-based practice. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Take the first step by calling or texting 217-402-7817
- Schedule your first appointment at my Illinois-based practice to address overworking
- Start overcoming people-pleasing behaviors!
Other Services Offered With Live Lekko
Therapy for people-pleasing isn't the only service I offer. I'm happy to offer a variety of services to provide you with mental health support. The mental health services I offer include therapy for stress, counseling for women, and grief and loss counseling. I also offer therapy for childhood emotional neglect. Whether you are in Peoria, Springfield, Mahomet, or somewhere in between in Illinois I can help with teletherapy. Feel free to visit my blog for more helpful information.